Me. The International Cover Up….

So after all the scenarios I’ve already filled you in on,  decided to stay low-key and spend time with the one true friend I really had. She was my best friend. Let’s call her Lola.

Lola and I have know each other since we were little kids. We had tried many times over the years to spend time together, but Lola was in a relationship with someone that was very controlling, and manipulative, and the father of her two kids. Well, this time around, they had split up. He had cheated on her with some other girl and got the girl pregnant. So Lola and I became “Us Against The World”.  We loaded up all of our free time with dance clubs, alcohol, booze cruises, concerts, after parties, you name it. We had so much fun, and I was doing well with keeping my legs closed at the same time.  We had partied with celebrities, which, was my breaking point when I hooked up with a famous music artist that had a concert at a local venue.  Make that two famous music artists, two separate times. I also dated a basketball player for a little while. We didn’t see each other much since he was traveling for games all the time. We never hooked up. Mostly because when he’d come back close to home and I’d see him, he’d be so fucked up on weed, cocaine, and ecstasy that I couldn’t even have a decent conversation to catch up with him. It was becoming a turnoff to me to just have sex with nothing else attached to it, and started feeling like a skanky groupie.

Then one stressful day, Lola and I went out to a local dance club that I had once worked at before as a shot girl/go-go dancer/bartender.  We tried to make it for last call, but arrived as people were exiting the club. For me having connections with this bar, I tried to get in anyway so we can have some free drinks.  As I’m walking through the parking lot, I was stopped by this absolutely beautiful man looking for some conversation. Wow, this guy was tall, tan, blue eyes, and gorgeous. I could tell he was confident, but the shy type, which I’m incredibly attracted to. We quickly swapped numbers and called it a night.

I spoke with him over the phone a few times during the week, and by the weekend we made plans to hit a local bar for some drinks and conversation. He was already going to be there with a buddy of his. Excitedly, I went. His friend was pretty cool, and the hot guy, let’s call him Don, was even hotter this time around, but I soon found out he was a kinda dumb. Seemed a little confused or something. Nonetheless, I pursued it, thinking, “Well, if he’s kinda an idiot, I’ll be holding the reigns in this relationship. I can rock his world, be the true girl that was hiding behind all my insecurities and skankiness, and this could be a beautiful thing”.  This was clearly a guy that was beautiful, but didn’t know it.  Security.

Things got weird after a few weeks. He only wanted to meet up at his friends houses, or out around the town. He didn’t care who saw us together, so I wasn’t worried it was another woman. But he just didn’t want me to come to his house. I thought, eh, this guy must be a dude with a small ass messy apartment that he’s embarassed about, or maybe he lives with his parents, or something else that he didn’t want to admit to me as a ‘man’. I let it go, and decided that whenever I have something good, I pick apart all the little things to find something that I can use as an excuse to not get close so I don’t get hurt.

Then, Don popped the question. Not to get married, but to go on a vacation internationally. His parents lived in another country and he wanted me to meet them, along with his brother.  He told me to get my passport, and to pay for my flight, and he would pay for everything else while I was there. I was so excited, but scared since I didn’t know him for very long. But, fuck it! My ass went to Spring Break by myself and risked homicide, why not go with this gorgeous man that I could probably kick his ass if I tried, and be treated to a tropical vacation?  It’s about time a man treats me to something nice for genuine interest in me.  I put my insecurities aside, and dished out the cash for an airline ticket.

Now, because of my job, I only had the time to vacation for one week, while Don was going for two. I figured I’d buy my ticket to travel a few days after he’d already been there, and leave before he does. You know, so he can spend time with his family beforehand, and then talk about me and get his families opinion about me afterwards. I was so excited to go. I had never been out of the country, and here’s this beautiful man fulfilling one of my dreams already.

Now here I am, traveling on the plane alone. I get to the Dominican Republic, and I’m literally the only white person in a three-city radius. Obviously my cellphone doesn’t work here, and no one speaks english.  I’m standing there alone with my luggage, while the entire population is staring me down as if I was a piece of red meat in a pack of wolves. People were yelling out the word “gringa”, and people coming up taking pictures of me. It was like the paparazzi, but honestly, I was a little scared.

Finally I was able through some lamens communications with a cab driver, I got them to call the phone number Don gave to me that I was able to reach him at in this country. They called him and he was stuck in traffic. I was so relieved to see him show up when he did, and was ready for an extravagant vacation. We were to spend a few days at an all-inclusive resort, and then a few days at his brothers house. People in this country were crazy. They would jump in front of cars throwing water on the windows and wiping them with their other hand sticking out for money. This was indeed a very poor place to be. The resort was beautiful, however, I didn’t get the quality time with Don that I was looking for. He got very friendly with the waitresses speaking a language that I didn’t understand and it was a bit uncomfortable. We did though do some fun activities which I will never forget. The downside of this guy? He sucked in bed. I chalked it up to it being the thorn of the rose.

When I met his family, I fell in love with them. They were so good to me. It was hilarious that I got so much attention being the “white girl” just from standing outside his brothers clothing store. After some drinks, I started dancing outside yelling to people to come to the store and buy stuff. I made the best out of a poor city.

Then, one day at the resort, Don was about to excuse himself, saying he had to call home and check on his daughter. Yeah, he had dropped the bomb on that earlier about a daughter. I realized that it must’ve been why he didn’t want me to come over. He didn’t want to expose his daughter to another woman. I get it. It’s okay.   I understood that. Anyhow, I told him that it was a great idea, and that I should probably call home myself. He gave me a funny look, and I thought, “oh damn, this is it… this dude is about to be sneaky and now he can’t sneak off and talk to a waitress since I’ll be right there”.  This resort had a souvineir shop which contained a few “phone booths”, which was really small sections with sheets creating a cube like in a hospital room that you can obtain your privacy. As we both walked towards the store, he sat me down and said he needed to speak with me. I sat down and he told me that he was really going to call his wife.     His WHAT?!?!  How could he pull this off? We had spent a lot of time together. I had gone to all his softball games, met his friends, visited him at work, met his family, went to another COUNTRY with this man.  Instantly, like an allergic reaction, I went into my “fight or flight” mode. Pissed of the betrayal, but had to play nice in the sand box since I was in a foreign country and didn’t wanna be left stranded.  That quickly changed to “Fuck this guy… what an asshole…. but hey, he wants to show me the good life, obviously I must be better than her…..”

This was my problem. My high was knowing that I was good enough for SOMEthing. Even if it was negative. If I can get you to deceive the person you marry, then I apparently must be hot shit to SOMEone.  The rest of the trip I spend drinking, dancing, trying to speak the language to communicate, and enjoyed nothing but the vacation, and less of the fact that I was there with a beautiful, and unavailable, man.  I was so hurt that when I went into the phone booth, I called up my ex in tears….. which I will tell you about him in my next blog.  The love of my life. The one that got away. SMH.

So obviously, as I mentioned earlier, I was coming home before Don was.  When I came home, I linked back up with the ex the very next day to work the relationship out.  When I saw Don’s buddy that I had met in the beginning, I confronted him asking why he didn’t tell me about Don’s wife. Now I know the whole “guy code” thing, but me and his friend had built a good friendship over time. Don’s friend says, “OH….. THAT’S why you’re upset???”  I was taken aback by it. I asked him what else could have upset me about Don?  Then he told me the truth about Don….

Apparently, Don lived in the Dominican Republic and was in a heavy relationship with a radio disc jockey. Who was a man. Don’s father said that ‘no son of his was going to be a faggot…’ and threw Don out of their house and disowned him from the family.  He moved to the United States, found a woman, married her, had a baby and tried to “prove” he wasn’t gay, which was the reason he wanted me to meet his family. To show he was such a ‘man’ and loved women so much that he had TWO on his plate.   REALLY?!?!  The Lifetime Movie Channel doesn’t even get this good…….

Fuck My life.